Pages

Friday 27 November 2009

FILM REVIEW- Ed Wood (1994)

Ed Wood (15)

Where- On DVD.

The best film ever made about the worst films ever made…

Plot- The biopic of Ed Wood, a film director from the 50’s who is revered (reviled?) for making some of the most technically inept films ever committed to film. Making them with his band of unusual friends he also managed to rope in ageing horror star Bela Lugosi at the end of his career.

Review- There has, in many people’s minds, the thought that Tim Burton has not yet made the masterpiece he has always threatened.

But in 1994 he made that film. Ed Wood may have won two Oscars, for best supporting actor as well as best make up, but it flailed at the box office resulting in a slow slide into cult status.

Likely shunned by mainstream audiences for being in black and white, it also didn’t do itself any favours for being about a nobody, a story no-one should care about.

Many derided it for looking at a man that had little talent, and was a tiresome exercise in pointlessness.

That is missing the point. This film is a tribute to all those many people that have tried but failed to grab success, a tribute to the underdog.

It starts slow and may under whelm on first viewing, but it is a film that rewards continued visits. You find yourself watching again and again just to noticing another small detail or joke you missed last time round, as well as just to spend time with the characters.

And what characters. From Johnny Depp’s (Wood) infectious optimism, Jeffrey Jones slimy but suave Criswell and Bill Murray’s effeminate turn as Bunny Beckbridge these are people with stories both fascinating and unbelievable.

Martin Landau steals the film as Bela Lugosi however, portraying the drug addled 30’s horror icon with both sensitivity and humour. You almost want to see a whole film dedicated to him, and his relationship with Wood is the films true centre.

Sadly, there are, flaws, even though they fail to detract from the films magic. Sarah Jessica Parker is an irking annoyance whenever on screen, and even if this was deliberate she still seems to be sleepwalking through her role. There are also numerous problems with calling this a biopic, with much of it not so much altering events but inventing new ones altogether.

But this is wise decision from Burton. Wood was, in reality, a severe alcoholic with wild mood swings. If no-one wanted to see the film in its current incarnation, who would go to see that version?

Ending on a high, instead of the low it easily could have, Burton has turned a story that should by all rights be tragic and depressing, and reshaped it into tale of celebration and hope.

Verdict- A beautiful piece of filmmaking that is heart-warming, at times tragic, yet ultimately uplifting. (5/5)

The films trailer…

LARGE NOSE MAN- Chapter One

What is this? A continuing story about a superhero I made up, Large Nose Man. I wrote much of this many years ago, so I have edited it to make (some) sense, although it’s just a bit of fun really. One new chapter up every fortnight!

Chapter one

A deafening crescendo of noise hit him like a well-oiled hitting machine, throwing him backwards, onto his, er, back.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, screamingly, to the apparition that appeared before him.

“I am all your worst nightmares rolled into one unspeakably horrific form!” said the unspeakably horrific form, with a tone of eerie calm.

“Surely not my worst fear…clichés?” he said, his voice shaking.

“Yes!” shrieked the horrific form. “Listen to my clichés and tremble! Such as, ‘It’s a game of two halves,’ ‘if you like the original, watch this!,’ and so on!

“Noooooo! It’s to-to-to much!” cried the man, as he started to fall, fall, fall…back into consciousness.

“What…oh, it was only a dream” sighed Alex Kent, a man who was such a loser he has dreams about horrific forms saying clichés.

“Hello, it’s KBBL, the radio station which convieniently introduces itself everytime you turn on your radio!” Blared the radio. “Its 8:33, and you’re probably late for your job!”

“8:33!” said Alex in a panic. “I am late!” And with that, Alex rushed to work in a panic.

*

“Goddamn it Kent! You’re at least 21.0987 seconds late!” Complained Mr A Hole, the boss of Chartered accountants Incorporated, as he glanced down at his mahogany watch.

“I’m sorry Mr A Hole…” mumbled Alex, with his un-prophetic dream still tumbling around in his head.

“Seeing as you’re so unpunctual, here’s a new assignment for you at the nuclear plant, tomorrow night.” Said Mr A Hole, with a biting sarcasm that could rip you clean in two.

“Sigh, very well, what is it about?” Asked Alex.

“How the hell should I know?” asked Mr A Hole. “It’s only a excuse for the author to move the plot forwards!”

With that, Alex prepared for his very important assignment, and not, as some believe, a bad excuse to get the plot moving...

*

Thursday 26 November 2009

FILM REVIEW- Triangle (2009)

3251533479

Triangle (2009)

By Simon Reed

Where? In the cinema

Review-

While watching you’ll feel you have seen several parts of this film before, you’ve just got to get your head around it.

And being able to understand this effort from the maker of Severance and Creep is no easy task.

Involving a group of friends going out on a boat expedition, their vessel capsizes in a storm, forcing them to board a large ocean liner that comes out of nowhere.

Seemingly deserted the heroine, Jess (Melissa George), still swears she catches glimpses of people onboard. Or does she?

Turns out that, because of an unexplained time loop the ships crew turns out to be past or even future versions of the group, with Jess the one trying to stop them being caught in the loop.

Aided by some effective, but sparingly used, special effects, Jess finds herself realising that she has done the same actions to try and stop the confusion over and over.

Despite this seemingly repetitive nature there is a good pace of narrative progression, with overlaps in the narrative sparingly used so it doesn’t feel as if the director is cutting corners.

Ever present is a feeling that there will be no easy clean cut ending which does not make this film an easy watch. Hard to love, or even to truly enjoy, instead of affection you feel admiration for the difficulties the director, Christopher Smith, must have faced when stitching the films ideas together, or the unwillingness of the plot to ever resort to crowd-pleasing horror clichés.

Although an idea pleasantly unique the film’s smugness in its continually unravelling plot that is always one step ahead of the viewer is similar to Christopher Nolan’s backwards played film Memento. As with that effort while watching you’ll feel you have seen several parts of this film before, you’ve just got to get your head around it.

Rating- A highly intelligent thriller that is a well put together and demands a second viewing, although is hardly anyone's idea of a good time. (3/5)

*Note- This review was published in the Christmas edition of my University's magazine, 'Nerve.' They took out the last sentence though, so the whole deliberate repeating sentence joke didn't get in. Which was a bit disappointing...*

Wednesday 25 November 2009

NEWS- New Store In West Moors

New store premieres in West Moors

By Simon Reed

A new Premier convenience store is fighting for customers against three other competitors in West Moors.

The branch, one of over 2,400 in the United Kingdom, on Farm Road first welcomed customers through their doors three weeks today on the 6th of November.

It has opened despite two stores round the corner on Station Road, the Southern Co-operative and Tesco Express, as well as Martins on Pinehurst Road at the other end of the village.

But Ruban Logan, manager of the Premier store, said that their prices on key items will work in their favour.

“We can beat their price, we have more products cheaper. Our four pint bottles of milk, we’re selling for £1.09, they’re selling for about £1.49.”

He added that they needed patience to see whether they can attract enough customers, and said: “We’re waiting to put the sign in, as once as they put the sign up people will know we’re here. We’ll see how it goes, everything takes time.”

Tom Gilson, a Sales Assistant at Martins, thinks that four stores could happily co-exist in West Moors but their business could suffer slightly.

“I’d say they can try. I mean the co-op and the Tesco’s cope well without any real worries. They’re doing the same thing as us delivering papers so we would say it would have an effect on us.”

Both Tesco Express and the Southern Co-operative stores in West Moors were not willing to comment on the issue.

shop 1

(Above- The new Premier store on Farm Road)

*This piece was meant to be published in The Stour and Avon Magazine this week, but to quote their editor when I asked them to put it in-

“No sorry Simon. It's something that needs to be advertised”

It’s a shame because I think it’s a relevant issue for the village. C’est la vie.*

Tuesday 24 November 2009

INTERVIEW-David Yeates talks about The Tennis Masters

*My friend, David Yeates, was lucky enough to go to the O2 Tennis Masters ATP World Tour Finals in London to see Swede Robin Soderling (ranked 9 in the world) complete a shock win over Spaniard Rafael Nadal (ranked 2 in the world).

The BBC match report can be found here- http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/8375032.stm

David talks to me (with my questions in bold) about the match, the tournament compared to Wimbledon and dressing up as the Queen…*

So David did you enjoy the o2 masters event?

Yes.

Why did you enjoy it?

Because it was fun.

Ok, why was it fun?

Because we got to see some good quality tennis and it was a good atmosphere and it was a bit more atmospheric than normal tennis because of the loud noises and lights.

You think Wimbledon can ever be like this?

No, because Wimbledon is more for classical tennis, it’s very traditional.

Do you think Wimbledon is for the snobs, and that this grand slam event is more for the urchins such as yourself?

No, because I like Wimbledon.

Have you ever been to Wimbledon?

I have been.

Have you ever been kicked out of the entrance after they see you?

Once, but then I said I was the queen and they’re pretty stupid and they believed me.

Did you use some sort of disguise?

Yes, I dressed up as the queen.

Was it full on like-

(Interrupts) Yes I had a crown.

Anything else?

No…

Just a crown?

Yeah.

So you’re saying you look a bit like a woman then?

No, but the guy was blind, so I just put on a feminine voice (puts on a feminine voice) ‘Oh hello, I’m the queen.’ (Voice goes back to normal) And it was fine.

A blind bodyguard?!?

Yeah.

At Wimbledon?

Yeah.

And this was to the VIP section?

Yeah, I was in the royal box.

Moving on, as we’re going a bit off topic, tell me about the game, Soderling versus Nadal.

Well, Soderling won in straight sets.

Did he deserve to?

Yes he did, his game was a lot more consistent than Nadal. You could see Nadal had moments of genius, but Soderling had a very strong forehand and a very strong serve and he stood his ground really.

Was it flawed genius from Nadal?

I think Nadal has been lacking in confidence since his injury and he hasn’t got into full stride so and anyone that hits him hard and has a real hard consistent go at him is going to have a good chance of winning,

Would you say ‘rocking Robin Soderling’ is a good nickname?

No. (Laughs)

Why not?

It’s a bit lame.

Why?

Because no-one uses the word rocking much anymore. Maybe ‘slamming Robin Soderling’ something like that, because it’s got alliteration.

It sounds a bit weird, like he’s raping someone.

Why?

The slamming part.

It sounds more like someones raping him to be honest.

So overall you enjoyed your experience?

Yes, it was a good day out.

Would you recommend it to most people?

I would actually, yes.

Who wouldn’t you recommend it to?

People I don’t like.

Such as?

You.

Thanks for your time.

_46787542_soderling1

(Above- A happy Rocking Robin Soderling)

AFCB- vs Dagenham and Redbridge (24/11/09)

DSC00188

The teams coming out for kick off. Bournemouth are in red, Dagenham in Yellow.

DSC00190

Dagenham copying Bournemouth’s highly successful group huddle just before the second half.

DSC00193

The Dagenham goalkeeper in the second half, who generated a lot of banter with the home fans.

DSC00195

A blurred picture of Bournemouth’s troops walking off the pitch at the end. In a game dominated by Dagenham the cherries were lucky to escape with a point.

INTERVIEW- David Jenkins of Gamecentral

*David Jenkins was kind enough to personally reply to my question of whether downloadable games will take over from physical media eventually. The full feature on downloadable games will be up within the next week…*

Q- So with the PSP Go a seeming failure what do you think a download only console will not rise it's head again for quite a while? And what do you think of the chances of a download only future in general?

A- “The real move to download-only consoles will likely happen more organically than with the PSPgo, when cloud computing becomes a reality. However, new and current consoles will increasingly offer full games to download, as well as relying on retail-bought discs. No matter the precise details, publishers are so frustrated by piracy and second-hand game sales that download-only consoles are now an inevitability.This will leave little place for retailers, which is exactly the way publishers would like it. Peripherals, and perhaps special editions, will still be available in store although even here publishers are likely to want to cut out retailers by offering their own mail delivery service.

Although it offers some additional convenience for customers, in terms of physical storage space and instant availability, the real benefits of digital downloads are all in the publisher's favour. Customers will now essentially be licensing the games for use for an indefinite period, rather than owning a physical product which they can use in other devices or sell-on. Competition will also be reduced in terms of pricing, as can already be seen on the Xbox download service. As the market matures these aspects may change, but in general digital downloads give a worrying amount of control to publishers.”

You can visit Gamecentral on your tv through teletext or online here-

http://www.teletext.co.uk/gamecentral/default.aspx

1467006537_8ac3ae0f05

(Above- Enjoy this before teletext closes forever in January next year. GC will be continuing solely online from that point)

Monday 23 November 2009

FILM REVIEW- Waltz With Bashir

waltz bashir

Waltz With Bashir

By Simon Reed

Where? On Blu-ray

Film review-

This was always going to be a tough sell. A subtitled foreign language animation, with sex and violence, as well as a structure that is part memoir, part documentary. That’s also not mentioning that it’s about the complicated civil war in Lebanon that happened over twenty years ago. Sounds like a sure-fire mainstream hit, right?

Predictably, it didn’t get much attention from cinemas, but it now has the chance to get the attention it deserves on DVD, even if it will likely be on shop shelves for a short time.

The story follows Ari Folman (who is also the director and writer of the movie) and his attempts to remember his involvement in the conflict by meeting his old war comrades. These meetings result in flashbacks, ranging from tense gunfights, confessions of sexual frustration, to a news reporter with a death wish.

Unfortunately, the reasons behind the conflict are never truly explored, and parts of the film feel unnecessary and pointless making the plot feel like it has been cobbled together, resulting in some dull stretches. But the moments that do work, like the opening credits sequence involving a pack of crazed dogs, or the final, fascinating story of an unnoticed massacre linger in your memory long after the credits have rolled.

Yoni Goodman, the man behind the strange animation style in the film (it looks somewhat similar to the 2006’s A Scanner Darkly) has said the process, that took over four years, was so difficult it may never be used again. Waltz With Bashir, a film that is so different and so refreshing, will likely also never be seen again, so I recommend that you see it before it disappears from the shelves.

(3/5)

Extras review-

An interesting interview with Folman and the trailer. The Blu-ray has this as well as a one hour making of, and deleted scenes. Could do with a commentary but the disc offers enough information for fans.

(3/5)

Overall- (3/5)

VIDEOGAME REVIEW- GTA Chinatown Wars (DS)

*A bit old, but still gold…enjoy!*

gta

Grand Theft Auto – Chinatown Wars (Nintendo DS)

By Simon Reed

Personally, I did not enjoy GTA on the PS2, PSP and PS3 as much as I wanted to, as everything felt like too much of a chore. Phoning people, taking virtual women out for dinner, watching televisions in the actual game…I just wanted to, you know, play a videogame! Not participate in a ‘Let’s kill and cause chaos’ type expansion version of the Sims (as cool as that sounds).

So that’s why Chinatown Wars is a breath of such sweet, fresh, air. There’s no forced side missions, no pointless characters, just good old destruction and killing. And after years of over complication of the formula, that’s something to be celebrated wildly.

The story follows Huang, who, on his way to Liberty City, is passing on a symbolic sword to his Uncle after his father, a Triad boss, was mysteriously killed. But soon enough there is an ambush, the sword is stolen, and Huang starts to work with several gangsters and crazies in order to get it back.

Scripting wise, the game is not as razor sharp and witty as previous iterations, but the plot is suitably complex with many characters truly vile and dislikable. And I mean that in the best way.

Missions are short and perfect for portable play (helped by an auto save function), but never do they feel slight or simplified, with many as memorable as anything in previous GTA’s. One set piece for example, involves racing an oil tanker to a destination, while oil spills from the back, making sure any police that dare chase you get doused in flame. Another involves making sure journalists do not take pictures of your boss, by dealing with them by any means necessary. It’s pure 18 certificate carnage, and it’s a joy to behold.

A top down perspective, along with a cartoony visual style (similar to the Gameboy Colour’s Driver), may bring disadvantages, such as a limited view of the road ahead, along with the loss of the gritty feel many enjoyed in GTA4, but everything works perfectly in sight of the DS’s limited technical capabilities.

Overuse of the touch screen for many tasks can be awkward, such as throwing projectiles, but it also helps to immerse you in the game, and the game is certainly improved, and not weakened, by their inclusion.

Overall, the size of the game (after finishing the main plot you have not seen even half of what the game has to offer), the confident design and the way it simply wants to be played and enjoyed makes this a must have DS title. And there aren’t many of those around at the moment.

(5/5)

FILM FEATURE- Halloween All Nighters…

*A bit late but here is my feature on Halloween All nighters. Only read if you dare…*

Description- All night film fests look only for the insane but have managed to carve out a niche audience. I try to survive one and looks into their continual appeal…

It’s seven o’clock on Sunday morning, and I haven’t slept all night. Rain pounds my car windscreen as I struggle to keep my eyes open. Logically I should slump asleep at the wheel, but I manage to keep going. How did I get in this perilous situation? It all started a few weeks ago, on Halloween…

Happening to spot ‘Halloween All Night Special’ on my local cinemas website, I was intrigued, and clicked on it. ‘Starring: Saw 6, The Thing, My Bloody Valentine 3D and An American Werewolf In London. 480 minutes.’ 480 minutes! 8 hours, four films, no sleep. Madness to be sure, but there had never been an event like this in the area, so I decided to take up the challenge. It beat being at home, trembling behind the sofa, terrified of six year old trick or treaters threatening to egg my car.

Halloween 005

(Above-The poster for the event)

When booking a ticket however, I was sure that there was no way anyone would be mentally unbalanced enough to go as well. There I would be, highlighted as a lone madman in the empty cinema, the staff laughing at me whenever I turned my back.

Wrong. I obviously overestimated the amount of sanity in this world. In the biggest screen available, with over 200 seats, it was a near sell out, and I had to settle for a seat in the front row.

Having entered my card details for the tickets there was no way back. It was time to prepare. Thirty six pence energy drinks that were coloured a worrying neon green, along with a homemade thermos filled to the bring with coffee and sugar were packed before leaving. Risking death through caffeine overdose was a risk I was willing to take.

But with so much preparation and time dedicated, why do so many people go to Halloween all nighters such as these? Perhaps it is something to be endured and overcome, rather than actually enjoyed. Talking to Nikki Bartlett, the general manager at the Empire cinema in Poole behind the event, before the night started, she was surprised at the large audience, but seemed to recognise the people the night was aiming for.

“I’m really pleased with how popular it’s been. I didn’t expect how well and quickly it has been taken up. We were offered it and to be honest, it’s something I really wanted to do.”

“I think if you like Halloween but you don’t necessarily want to go out and get drunk, it’s the kind of thing you can really do. The fact Halloween has fallen on a Saturday also makes it a good night for it, as you can have a lazy day on Sunday.”

Nikki’s bubbling enthusiasm for the event was obvious, but what was surprising was the amount of staff helping with the event. Even on a busy Friday night I had never seen so many people around the building, especially not at midnight. Surely they were given extra pay?

“Nope.” Nikki boasted, “It was a voluntary thing. I asked the guys if they were up for work for it and I was actually quite overwhelmed by the reaction we got from the staff. They were all really up for it quite hyped up for it so it was quite good fun.”

Halloween 002

(Above- Darth Vader was present. Picture’s blurriness is due to my shaking fear)

With all this enthusiasm from Nikki and her staff, I was surprised to find a subdued atmosphere when I entered the pack foyer. Only one or two people had bothered to dress up, and the bubbly camaraderie I had anticipated was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps it was because of the collected realisation that this night was going to be no easy ride. Or maybe it was because the mediocre My Bloody Valentine 3d was the first film of the night.

Halloween 004

(Above- A fellow all nighter with his 3d specs)

The films were unfortunately, pre-selected, with Empire Cinemas across the country each falling into one of 4 bands, with films such as Alien, the Exorcist and Childs Play shown elsewhere.

The recently refurbishment at the Poole branch to hold 3d screenings, did seem to make Valentine an obvious choice. Giving us each a brand new pair of 3d glasses as we went into the screen was probably a mistake however. “Please put them in the buckets at the exit when the film is over” announced an optimistic cinema clerk. “Just try and get ‘em off me” retorted someone at the back of the screen. Now that was exactly the type of rambunctious energy I had anticipated from the night!

Then, as the film ended a scream rang out from behind me, and one of the few people dressed up chased someone past the front of the screen. Whether this was staged or not it did not matter, it lifted the flat atmosphere and the next film, An American Werewolf in London, flew in a whirlwind of laughs and shocks.

5

(Above- For an 80’s film American Werewolf’s special effects are brilliant)

American Werewolf was an easy choice for cinemas this Halloween though, being recently re-released with a newly mastered print. Louise Scutts, the general manager of the Southampton Picturehouse was one of those who showed it, and thinks the best way to rope in the crazies who go to late night showings is to go for a crazy choice of film.

“The normal cinema route is choosing the big slasher out the time, but we tend to go back and choose something a bit quirky. American Werewolf did over a hundred on the 10pm Saturday showing which is pretty good. Overall, we tend to go a bit of slope on Halloween, as we did a great one a few years ago where we didn’t pick the big slasher film, and we thought, lets do something mad. So we decided to show Carry on Screaming, and we had 173 people come in to watch it. It was just amazing!”

07968-2

(Above- Carry on Screaming- the perfect Halloween film?)

Half way through the night, and the atmosphere was a little flat yet again, as problems with the projection equipment for The Thing meant Saw 6 was shown next instead of being the final act. This unfortunately meant that even though everyone sat through Saw, many then went home, missing the arguably superior film, The Thing.

“Hope you all enjoy the last film, well done to those of you that have stayed, I’m impressed. There are quite a few that have tapped out early…” Nikki Bartlett announced before The Thing lit up the screen. Despite half the people gone, cheers when Kurt Russell’s name came up on the opening credits made it clear that only the true lovers of film now remained, with the atmosphere arguably at an all time high, despite many people, including myself, now in a near comatose state.

Late night screenings are still not needed everywhere though. Talking to Anne Lonsdale, a Supervisor at Southampton’s Cineworld, it is clear that some towns just don’t have the right audience for such events.

“I can see how late night showings are good but then at this cinema it doesn’t do that well. We did have late showings of saw 6 and a kids club in the morning where everyone dressed up and did Halloween games. But as we’re mainly student based people will be going out going to parties. I mean which students are going to come and watch a late night film instead?”

“Thank god, time for bed” was shouted out when The Things credits rolled, and agreeing murmurs came from the crowd. As I shuffled out into the now emerging daybreak I can definitely say the whole night was an experience like no other.

Four films is nothing though. The Quad in Derby showed five films, as part of a zombie film all nighter, and was a near sell out. Adam Marsh, the film programmer at the cinema, thinks all nighters will become more and more popular as people look to do something to stand out from the crowd.

“Audiences are tending to lean towards event programming. People are wanting more and more to feel like something is special. Plus there is the endurance aspect. Can you do the whole night!”

Halloween 001

(Above- The lobby was bustling with activity between films)

In the end, the films that are shown at these sleep depriving marathons aren’t important. It is the surreal nature of my night that sticks with you. And as long as there are people with a somewhat surreal mindset, so there will be all nighters.

Sunday 22 November 2009

RANDOM RANT- Nightclubbing

What’s the deal?

By Simon Reed

Ok, I don’t mind jokes, but this one has gone far enough…what’s so great about nightclubbing?

I know as a student I should be embracing it like some kind of all powerful deity, but I just can’t see the appeal.

Not that I haven’t tried. I’ve gone several times when I was a fresher and each time I’ve got a new reason to stay away from Bournemouth’s nightclubbing scene.

Getting perplexed looks because you’re dressed up as one of the 118 team (don’t ask) I do not mind, but I don’t like dancing (I just can’t for some reason) and not being able to hear anything anyone is saying because of the music…I could go on.

I’m reading this back and it sounds like I’m some kind of killjoy, but that’s not it at all. I love going to the pub with my friends, going bowling, shooting some pool or watching a movie.

Most people I’ve talked to sismiss my arguments, reasoning that you have to get absolutely smashed to enjoy clubbing. But if you need to be pretty much unconscious to have fun doing it, then surely the whole idea isn’t that fun? Or is that just me?