FILM REVIEW- A Christmas Carol (2009)

A Christmas Carol (PG)

Where- In the cinema

Bah Humdrum?

Plot-

Scrooge (Carrey) is misanthropic banker in Victorian times, until he is visited by three spirits (Christmases Past, Present and Yet to come) on Christmas night to urge him to change his ways.

Review-

This classic Charles Dickens tale has been adapted for the big screen so many times it’s becoming a test to tell versions apart.

So the big question is what this latest effort from Robert Zemeckis does to stand out from the crowd.

The answer is, from a technical point of view, a lot. 3D, Body motion capture and Jim Carrey are all new. But in terms of memorable performances, witty scriptwriting and real heart it is severely lacking.

It’s hard to mess up a story this timeless completely, but this version is nowhere near as good as it should be.

One of the main problems is the whole body capture technique (real actors play out scenes are then made into cgi characters- see Beowulf or Polar Express). It lacks either the physicality of the best hand drawn toons, or the gritty realism of live action. It’s an interesting animation technique, but it’s stuck between two worlds and is not one thing or the other.

The films tone is also uncertain. Jumping from child-unfriendly shocks to pratfall slapstick in the blink of an eye it is the definition of schizophrenic.

Having a ghost’s jaw coming loose making him unable to talk sounds amusing but the film only treats it as a joke long after it has become disturbing. Also having one of the spirits laughing as he slowly decomposes until he is nothing but bones not only sends a shiver down your spine, but confuses you no end.

Who exactly is this film aimed at? Rated PG it seems to be family orientated but scenes such as the above seem to go beyond simple haunted house scares and into disturbing territory similar to Cronenberg.

If playing for an older audience the films inconsistent humour and poor character design may frustrate. The ghost of Christmas past is strange but ultimately dull, and characters such as Fezziwig and the ghost of Christmas present are simple photocopies from previous adaptations, adding little that is new.

But if you’re looking for an easy Christmas night out at the movies, this could satisfy. But if you want a version of Carol that does things a little differently and manages to pull it off, check out either the Muppets Christmas Carol or Scrooged.

Verdict- A decent enough version of a story that has been told one time too many… (2/5)

The trailer-

VIDEOGAME FEATURE- The Past, Present and Future of Downloadable Games…

I have managed to get an article on downloadable gaming published on the geeks.co.uk website. See it here-

http://www.geeks.co.uk/10483-are-game-cartridges-on-the-way-out-are-downloads-the-future

MUSIC FEATURE- Dual Review of The Blues Band

*I went with my dad to see the Blues Band on Thursday, to see the blues legends (or so I was told), Paul Jones, Dave Kelly, Rod Townsend, Gary Fletcher & Tom McGuinness.

I thought I would post a review as well as what my far more informed blues fan dad made of it…*

Me-

Having never heard really exposed myself for blues music before I wasn’t sure whether this night would either make my ears wave the white flag, or an unexpected lullaby joy.

Luckily it wasn’t two hours of aural pain, but it wasn’t bliss either.

The band, with their hair fading were clearly experienced at this venue (it was their 30^th year together after all), and had no problem in winning over the older crowd. Nobody jumped out of their seats and started grooving but neither was there any animosity, creating a relaxed atmosphere to the whole night.

All of the band played their instruments almost with their eyes shut, and there wasn’t a bum note or an out of key lyric to be found.

I’m not sure that the blues is my type of music though. It tries hard with a lot of noise from all involved but not one song stuck in the memory from the whole night. Once finished the songs go out like a light from your mind, tricking you into thinking whether you heard anything in the first place.

Overall it was fun, but perhaps a more livelier atmosphere and band may have really got my musical heart pumping.

Papa-

Well, what a treat for me, ticket brought for me as a birthday present by my better half, so the tickets have been in a safe place for over 2 months.

So accompanied by wife and son, off we go to our local Venue, the marvellous Tivoli Theatre in Wimborne, good seats too, only 3 rows from the front of stage.

This gig is part of the band’s 30 year celebration tour and by the quality of their performance they definitely seem to be enjoying themselves still.

There was no support band however, but this only gives these talented and accomplished musicians the opportunity to show the mastery of the Blues and R& B genre that they possess, during a near 2 hour set.

Being a guitarist myself (I’m not too bad..?) listening and watching the technique of Dave Kelly’s slide guitar work on his maroon Gibson S.G was a delight.

Paul Jones vocals and rapport with the audience made everyone feel part of something special, ably supported by Tom McGuiness’ excellent guitar work on acoustic (especially on “That’s aright”) and Gary Fletchers bass driving the band along. The band’s drummer was replaced for the night, as Rob Townsend had broken his collar bone, slipping on some leaves apparently.

So all in all, an enjoyable night out, go see this band if they are appearing locally to you, I for one will be getting tickets when they are down here again, recommended.

More details on the band can be found here-

http://www.scarboroughad.com/9/events/2009-11-07/159-The-Blues-Band-30th-Anniversary-Tour.html

FILM REVIEW- Ed Wood (1994)

Ed Wood (15)

Where- On DVD.

The best film ever made about the worst films ever made…

Plot- The biopic of Ed Wood, a film director from the 50’s who is revered (reviled?) for making some of the most technically inept films ever committed to film. Making them with his band of unusual friends he also managed to rope in ageing horror star Bela Lugosi at the end of his career.

Review- There has, in many people’s minds, the thought that Tim Burton has not yet made the masterpiece he has always threatened.

But in 1994 he made that film. Ed Wood may have won two Oscars, for best supporting actor as well as best make up, but it flailed at the box office resulting in a slow slide into cult status.

Likely shunned by mainstream audiences for being in black and white, it also didn’t do itself any favours for being about a nobody, a story no-one should care about.

Many derided it for looking at a man that had little talent, and was a tiresome exercise in pointlessness.

That is missing the point. This film is a tribute to all those many people that have tried but failed to grab success, a tribute to the underdog.

It starts slow and may under whelm on first viewing, but it is a film that rewards continued visits. You find yourself watching again and again just to noticing another small detail or joke you missed last time round, as well as just to spend time with the characters.

And what characters. From Johnny Depp’s (Wood) infectious optimism, Jeffrey Jones slimy but suave Criswell and Bill Murray’s effeminate turn as Bunny Beckbridge these are people with stories both fascinating and unbelievable.

Martin Landau steals the film as Bela Lugosi however, portraying the drug addled 30’s horror icon with both sensitivity and humour. You almost want to see a whole film dedicated to him, and his relationship with Wood is the films true centre.

Sadly, there are, flaws, even though they fail to detract from the films magic. Sarah Jessica Parker is an irking annoyance whenever on screen, and even if this was deliberate she still seems to be sleepwalking through her role. There are also numerous problems with calling this a biopic, with much of it not so much altering events but inventing new ones altogether.

But this is wise decision from Burton. Wood was, in reality, a severe alcoholic with wild mood swings. If no-one wanted to see the film in its current incarnation, who would go to see that version?

Ending on a high, instead of the low it easily could have, Burton has turned a story that should by all rights be tragic and depressing, and reshaped it into tale of celebration and hope.

Verdict- A beautiful piece of filmmaking that is heart-warming, at times tragic, yet ultimately uplifting. (5/5)

The films trailer…

LARGE NOSE MAN- Chapter One

What is this? A continuing story about a superhero I made up, Large Nose Man. I wrote much of this many years ago, so I have edited it to make (some) sense, although it’s just a bit of fun really. One new chapter up every fortnight!

Chapter one

A deafening crescendo of noise hit him like a well-oiled hitting machine, throwing him backwards, onto his, er, back.

“What the hell was that?” he asked, screamingly, to the apparition that appeared before him.

“I am all your worst nightmares rolled into one unspeakably horrific form!” said the unspeakably horrific form, with a tone of eerie calm.

“Surely not my worst fear…clichés?” he said, his voice shaking.

“Yes!” shrieked the horrific form. “Listen to my clichés and tremble! Such as, ‘It’s a game of two halves,’ ‘if you like the original, watch this!,’ and so on!

“Noooooo! It’s to-to-to much!” cried the man, as he started to fall, fall, fall…back into consciousness.

“What…oh, it was only a dream” sighed Alex Kent, a man who was such a loser he has dreams about horrific forms saying clichés.

“Hello, it’s KBBL, the radio station which convieniently introduces itself everytime you turn on your radio!” Blared the radio. “Its 8:33, and you’re probably late for your job!”

“8:33!” said Alex in a panic. “I am late!” And with that, Alex rushed to work in a panic.

*

“Goddamn it Kent! You’re at least 21.0987 seconds late!” Complained Mr A Hole, the boss of Chartered accountants Incorporated, as he glanced down at his mahogany watch.

“I’m sorry Mr A Hole…” mumbled Alex, with his un-prophetic dream still tumbling around in his head.

“Seeing as you’re so unpunctual, here’s a new assignment for you at the nuclear plant, tomorrow night.” Said Mr A Hole, with a biting sarcasm that could rip you clean in two.

“Sigh, very well, what is it about?” Asked Alex.

“How the hell should I know?” asked Mr A Hole. “It’s only a excuse for the author to move the plot forwards!”

With that, Alex prepared for his very important assignment, and not, as some believe, a bad excuse to get the plot moving...

*

FILM REVIEW- Triangle (2009)

Triangle (2009)

By Simon Reed

Where? In the cinema

Review-

While watching you’ll feel you have seen several parts of this film before, you’ve just got to get your head around it.

And being able to understand this effort from the maker of Severance and Creep is no easy task.

Involving a group of friends going out on a boat expedition, their vessel capsizes in a storm, forcing them to board a large ocean liner that comes out of nowhere.

Seemingly deserted the heroine, Jess (Melissa George), still swears she catches glimpses of people onboard. Or does she?

Turns out that, because of an unexplained time loop the ships crew turns out to be past or even future versions of the group, with Jess the one trying to stop them being caught in the loop.

Aided by some effective, but sparingly used, special effects, Jess finds herself realising that she has done the same actions to try and stop the confusion over and over.

Despite this seemingly repetitive nature there is a good pace of narrative progression, with overlaps in the narrative sparingly used so it doesn’t feel as if the director is cutting corners.

Ever present is a feeling that there will be no easy clean cut ending which does not make this film an easy watch. Hard to love, or even to truly enjoy, instead of affection you feel admiration for the difficulties the director, Christopher Smith, must have faced when stitching the films ideas together, or the unwillingness of the plot to ever resort to crowd-pleasing horror clichés.

Although an idea pleasantly unique the film’s smugness in its continually unravelling plot that is always one step ahead of the viewer is similar to Christopher Nolan’s backwards played film Memento. As with that effort while watching you’ll feel you have seen several parts of this film before, you’ve just got to get your head around it.

Rating- A highly intelligent thriller that is a well put together and demands a second viewing, although is hardly anyone's idea of a good time. (3/5)

*Note- This review was published in the Christmas edition of my University's magazine, 'Nerve.' They took out the last sentence though, so the whole deliberate repeating sentence joke didn't get in. Which was a bit disappointing...*

NEWS- New Store In West Moors

New store premieres in West Moors

By Simon Reed

A new Premier convenience store is fighting for customers against three other competitors in West Moors.

The branch, one of over 2,400 in the United Kingdom, on Farm Road first welcomed customers through their doors three weeks today on the 6^th of November.

It has opened despite two stores round the corner on Station Road, the Southern Co-operative and Tesco Express, as well as Martins on Pinehurst Road at the other end of the village.

But Ruban Logan, manager of the Premier store, said that their prices on key items will work in their favour.

“We can beat their price, we have more products cheaper. Our four pint bottles of milk, we’re selling for £1.09, they’re selling for about £1.49.”

He added that they needed patience to see whether they can attract enough customers, and said: “We’re waiting to put the sign in, as once as they put the sign up people will know we’re here. We’ll see how it goes, everything takes time.”

Tom Gilson, a Sales Assistant at Martins, thinks that four stores could happily co-exist in West Moors but their business could suffer slightly.

“I’d say they can try. I mean the co-op and the Tesco’s cope well without any real worries. They’re doing the same thing as us delivering papers so we would say it would have an effect on us.”

Both Tesco Express and the Southern Co-operative stores in West Moors were not willing to comment on the issue.

(Above- The new Premier store on Farm Road)

*This piece was meant to be published in The Stour and Avon Magazine this week, but to quote their editor when I asked them to put it in-

“No sorry Simon. It's something that needs to be advertised”

It’s a shame because I think it’s a relevant issue for the village. C’est la vie.*